On a loose translation.

Dear Coquette,

My partner of three months recently broke up with me. His reason? He said he had feelings for his ex, and that we couldn’t be together anymore because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Well, I am pretty hurt regardless and I firmly believe the whole ex excuse was some lie to cover up the true reason.

I tried to continue in keeping myself in contact with him to figure out more details on why our relationship ended so abruptly, but I never received a response from him. He just closed the doors on me. Are you familiar with these type of break-up situations?

I just don’t understand. My parents accepted and adored him. We gave him everything. It was the perfect relationship, and I could tell he sincerely loved me.

Wow. I’m sorry to hear that your heart is broken, but that’s no excuse for this kind of behavior. You desperately need a fresh slap from reality, and I’m thinking the most efficient way to drill a clue through your thick skull is to share with you what your letter sounded like in my head.

The following is a direct translation of your own words from crazy talk into real talk. (Yes, I speak both fluently.) I hope this helps:

My spring fling, whom I dated for about as long as the first season of HBO’s “Girls,” recently broke up with me. His reason? He said he was done dating me, and that we couldn’t be together anymore because he was done dating me. Well, my feelings are hurt and I have a tendency to overanalyze things and then firmly believe whatever I want to believe.

I couldn’t take the hint, so I kept bugging him for more details on why he didn’t want to date me anymore, but I never could get him to take the bait. He knew well enough to ignore me. I’m not the only one this happens to, am I?

I’m clueless and in denial. My parents tell me whatever I want to hear. I feel like he still owes me. I have no idea what it means to be in a real relationship, and I obviously couldn’t tell how he really felt about me.


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