Advice

On a skanky situation.

I have been sexually involved¬† with a big name in the local club scene for the last four months. About two weeks ago I went to my gynecologist for a check up and was given terrible news: I have herpes. As soon as I received the diagnosis, I met up with my fuck buddy and told him the news and that if he didn’t warn the other girls he was fucking, I would.

One of these said girls used to be a close friend in high school and I know for a fact he has not said anything and is still sexually involved with him. We are no longer close, in fact we supposedly hate each other, yet I would honestly hate for this girl I once trusted with my life to get herpes from this asshole (not to mention the 3 other girls I know he is also fucking). Should I tell my ex-best friend to stop fucking him and get checked? Should I tell the other girls as well? Should I get back at the asshole and tell everybody he has herpes? I haven’t told anybody yet, I figured if anyone knew the right thing to do in this tricky situation, it would be you. HELP!!

Translation, “After getting the herp from my rancid-cocked towny DJ, I’m tempted to carpet bomb his pussy posse with the bad news that everyone’s genitalia is a biohazard. Should I exact my revenge by pretending to do the right thing, or should I protect what’s left of my reputation by not alerting the world that my vagina lights up like a christmas tree?”

Yeah, tough call. Hallmark doesn’t have a card for this kind of tacky shit, but at the very least you should probably pull a Snooki and send the bitches a homemade email or note to inform them that they may have contracted herpes. If you do, keep it private and anonymous. There’s no need to embarrass anyone, nor should you have ulterior motives of revenge.

Also, don’t go telling everybody the dude has herpes. Starting rumors is nothing but drama, and I can tell from here you’re not smart enough to spread shit without getting any on you. I promise, it won’t be worth it.

Just cut your losses, take your Valtrex, and move on.

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