On a slow burn

So there’s this boy. He is very, very attractive, and he finds me to be the same. I feel no sparks when we hold hands, although I am desperately happy to not be alone. We always run out of things to say when we’re together. He does all sorts of extra things to spend time with me, but when he gives me roses I’m so much more excited about the prospect of having roses than him being the one giving them to me. I am attached to his lap whenever we sit. He loves to feel my legs and we like all the same things.

It’s kind of boring, but it’s odd; although I’m never swooning when I’m with him, I’m heartbroken when I’m not. All I can think of after every lethargic, topical conversation is the next time we will see each other. Either that or all the other girls he’s done sweet thing for. He is not a creep and he obviously likes me a lot.

What, if anything, do you make of all this non-issue bullshit?

When you run out of things to say together, is it a comfortable silence? Have your past relationships involved a lot of chaotic highs and lows? Have you ever thought about this guy while masturbating? I’m guessing you can answer yes to all three questions.

What I’m thinking here is that you’ve got some legitimate feelings for this guy, but you’re not used to his type. You’re used to crazy love. You expect relationships to be a roller coaster ride that derails in a shower of sparks. You watch movies like True Romance or Sid and Nancy and think, “yeah, that’s the idea.”

Well, there’s a flip side to that coin, and you’re experiencing it with this guy. Obviously he’s got you interested, but he’s not playing mind games or pulling the kind of whacked-out stunts that would otherwise confuse you into swooning. His version of romance is more mellow.

Now, don’t worry. He’s not going to turn you into a Dave Matthews fan or anything. When I say mellow, I don’t mean unexciting. Don’t confuse a lack of chaos for boredom. I assure you a slow burn can get just as hot as an explosion. This is a good thing, so go with it. Take your time. Savor it.

I bet the sex will be amazing.


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