Advice

On an age gap of four decades

I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 58. He’s not particularly wealthy and I’m not a gold digger. We are both attractive and fully capable of getting people our own age; we just happen to love each other. Most importantly, we’re extremely happy. From where I’m standing, our ages rarely even cross my mind. But occasionally, even in the midst of our bliss, I wonder if there’s something wrong with such a huge age gap. Any thoughts?

Oh please, you don’t just “happen” to love each other. Your relationship isn’t the whimsical result of coincidence. It takes a history of chaos and a metric fuck ton of emotional imbalance for a teenager and a senior citizen to fall in love, so quit acting like this was all some big romantic accident.

You are using this relationship as a blissful bubble to shield you from a shitstorm of unresolved issues from your (recent) childhood. He is using this relationship to further his denial as an emotionally crippled man-child with a raging case of Peter Pan syndrome.

What’s worse is that you tell yourself is that you’re fully capable of getting people your own age. Bullshit. You are both no more capable of being in healthy, age-appropriate relationships than you are of recognizing your own psychological damage.

I’m not saying this to shit on your happiness. Enjoy it while it lasts. Just do yourself a favor and admit you’ve got some serious daddy issues, and deal with them before this kind of ridiculousness becomes a pattern.

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