Advice

On an emotional masochist

A friend of mine has been in a relationship for 8 years and he recently told me he’s been unhappy for the last 4. His girlfriend broke up with him last week (she has been unhappy too) and moved out, but it was a bit of a shock for both of them and they are now trying to see if they can “fix things.”

I think he should remain single and feel like he’s falling back to her because he’s lonely and unsure he will find someone else. Should I tell him my opinion or mind my own business?

Your friend is enjoying the misery. This will end up being his favorite part of the relationship. He is an emotional masochist, and the ache and futility of trying to fix a broken thing gives him a romantic purpose he hasn’t felt in years.

Your opinion doesn’t mean shit in the face of that kind of exquisite suffering. He’ll move on when the pain turns to numbness, when he finally has no dignity left. Until then, don’t even bother trying to interfere.

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