My housemate is almost exactly like the guy from your “On the nice guy” post. I know he has no respect for girls, because he puts them on a pedestal, but at the same time is extremely threatened if there’s any hint of a girl getting the best of him (he hates feminism and thinks anyone who is one is the stereotypical second-wave man hating bra burner.)
He doesn’t treat me like this because I know he doesn’t see me as a potential girlfriend, but it bothers me that his thought process about girls is so monumentally fucked up. He’s a very miserable person who tries to mask it but doesn’t do a very good job because all of his negativity about girls and relationships just festers under his personality. He hates himself and thus hates girls because they don’t date him/have sex with him.
Is there anything I can say to him that will prompt him to examine his personality and his opinions on girls?
Oh, and he wants to be a relationship therapist.
Okay, here’s what you do. Go pick up a copy of The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. Do you have a boyfriend? Great. If at all possible, have him casually give it to your housemate. It doesn’t have to be complicated, just a “Dude, this book is really great. Every man should read it,” sort of thing.
Point is, it’ll be better if he thinks the book was given to him by a guy. (Ironically, so he won’t feel like he’s being tricked.) Make sure he reads it. I guarantee the book will have a profound effect on him.
Just to be clear, I’m not endorsing The Way of the Superior Man. David Deida is a stepping stone to superior manliness in the same way that Ayn Rand is a stepping stone to legitimate philosophy. It’s a valuable tool if you are already, in fact, a tool.
All this book will do is turn a malignant level of douchebaggery into a benign level of douchebaggery. Still, it teaches what your roommate needs to learn right now.