I’ll keep this short.
I’m getting married to a man I love. Today I tested positive on a pregnancy test.
Yesterday at our rehearsal, he publicly told a large group of friends and family of how unstable this stage of his life was and he wants to wait 8+ years to start a family.
Please give me your shadiest raging bitchy advice. Like you, I don’t have religion tying me back from the finer, more sinful things in life so give me your best advice and don’t hold back. Not like you ever do.
It’s pretty clear by your tone that you don’t want this pregnancy, and neither you nor your fiance are ready to have children at this point in time.
Then again, you’re not asking whether to terminate the pregnancy. That’s already a foregone conclusion in the back of your mind even though you probably haven’t said it out loud yet.
You’re not asking an abortion question. You’re asking a relationship question. What you really want to know is how to handle the situation with your soon-to-be husband.
Yes, you have to tell him. You can’t get an abortion behind his back and then start your marriage with this massive ugly secret. I promise, that shit will manifest itself and eat your relationship alive.
Now, if the rehearsal was yesterday, that means the wedding is this weekend. Feel free to indulge in seventy-two hours of denial. Seriously, pretend it’s a false positive and put that shit out of your head. Have a wonderful wedding.
However, first thing Monday morning, put the call in to Planned Parenthood. Tell them you need an abortion and schedule an initial appointment.
Once you’ve done that, sit down with your fiance and tell him.
Let him know that you’ve taken control of the situation by making an appointment, but now it’s time to make a decision together.
At that point, shit’s entirely up to the two of you. It’ll be brutal. Even if the choice is clear, it’s never easy. If you do decide to terminate the pregnancy, don’t tell anyone else. No friends. No family. This is husband and wife shit. It’s between you, a doctor, and nobody else.