Best-Of Advice

On copyright law

You post a lot of music on your personal tumblr. As a popular account, how do you deal with the copyright issue? Or do you just get permission from artists since it’s free promotion?

It’s all perfectly legal, because I track down each artist and give them head before posting their music to my personal blog.

It’s a little known codicil of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act that if you provide sexual favors to an underlying rightsholder, you are legally entitled to reproduce their work on the internet.

It’s an often misunderstood but very useful extension of the fair use doctrine known as the DMCA OVA standard, which stands for Oral, Vaginal, or Anal. The British work under a slightly different version known as the HOVA standard, but remember kids, here in America hand-jobs don’t count.

Once you meet the OVA standard with a given artist, you can do anything you want with that artist’s music short of re-releasing your own greatest hits album.

Oh, and you’ll be happy to know that the OVA standard is retroactive. For instance, If the RIAA files a DMCA lawsuit against you for downloading music illegally, you can make a settlement offer that literally includes you taking it up the ass.

They don’t like to mention it in the news, but that’s what most RIAA lawsuits are actually about. Hell, Metallica doesn’t really care about people pirating their music, it’s just that Lars Ulrich wanted to insure a steady stream of college girls would legally owe him blowjobs well into the next decade.

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