On bad dating.

I started dating a guy recently. From OKCupid. We get along well, we have similar interests, values and senses of humor. Dates have been fun! The first one was awesome! The second was good! Last night was…good at dinner, sort of. And he gave me a jokey gift. I hate when guys give gifts early on. I forgot it in his car…

The main thing: his apartment is NASTY. Not that he’s a slob; the apartment itself is gross. It smells bad. His room smells bad and his bedcovers…I just don’t want to get near them. Complete turn-off. He’s allergic to cats and can’t spend time at my place. Also he’s shorter than me. And skinny. And has a weird comedy act he is really invested in. Maybe it’s not weird and actually genius but I don’t want to get roped into supporting him/it. Not that he would rope me into it. I just know it would become a Thing. I don’t have any perspective on this guy other than my own.

This blows. Dating blows.

You have similar interests, values, and senses of humor? No you don’t. Not even a little bit. You two are totally incompatible, and you’re an idiot for not spotting it within the first five minutes.

You don’t get his comedy. He can’t stand your cat. Neither of you can enter the other’s personal space without your eyes watering. What the fuck are you doing making it to date three with this guy?

Quit being so fucking goal oriented with your dating. Quit feeling like failure is implied when shit doesn’t work out with someone you met on the internet. It’s perfectly fine if you want to go window shopping on OKCupid, but that process is not to be taken seriously.

Also, quit whining and learn how to accept a gift. It’s exactly like accepting a compliment. Regardless of how awkward or inappropriate, just look him in the eye, say thank you, and move on.


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