I wish I was a sociopath. Every day, something happens in my life that makes me feel guilt or shame…and most of the time they’re small things like accidentally stepping on someone’s foot after losing balance in the subway. But they follow me around all day, it’s so obnoxious! Afterwards, I always wish that I could somehow throw my conscience out the window while still having an idea of what is and is not socially acceptable. Do you happen to know any ways to dissolve one’s concience/ unleash the inner sociopath?
You’re asking to give up your soul in exchange for a spine. That’s some neo-Faustian bullshit right there. What a horrible and tragic idea. Dissolving your conscience is no path to happiness, and I’m afraid you’ve grossly misinterpreted what it means to have antisocial personality disorder.
The excessive guilt you feel isn’t a product of an overly active conscience. It’s a product of an underdeveloped self image.
You’re asking to become an evil shell of a human being when really all you need is a few friendly lessons in not giving a fuck. Adjust your knobs. Turn down the remorse. Turn up the temerity. Leave your conscience right where it is.
It’s perfectly fine to feel momentary guilt for stepping on someone’s foot, but have enough faith in yourself to know that a quick smile and an “Oops, sorry!” is all that’s required to restore the karmic balance.
Someone should have told you this before now, but you have just as much right to make your way through the world as everyone else.
You are an equal to all around you.