I was raped by a fucking cop last night. Date rape and I was “sending mixed signals,” so it’s “not as bad as it sounds,” but I still don’t know how to deal with it in my head. I know there is no excuse but I keep trying to make them so I don’t feel so violated. And dirty. If he thinks he can stick his dick in someone saying “no, stop” repeatedly, I’m wondering who else he’s fucked that has just given up. The worst part is he tried to blame me and when I used the r word he said “if I was an asshole, I’d tell you to leave.” I told him he WAS an asshole and left. He texted saying I was “unbelievable” and “I’m sorry.. You did like it though.. But I’m sorry.” So revolting. I feel so gross even though I know it’s not my fault. Help.
I am so very sorry this happened to you.
It’s good that you know it’s not your fault, but please don’t listen to anyone who tries to tell you what happened wasn’t rape or was “not as bad as it sounds.” Fuck that shit. You deserve justice, and that evil piece of shit rapist cop deserves to be punished. I will absolutely help if I can, but for now I recommend you contact a rape crisis center in your area immediately. (Also, do not delete those texts.)
Please keep me updated, and if you’d like to discuss this privately, be sure to include an email address.