Advice

On being vague.

If you lived with an extremely codependent parent that crippled you with their love and refused to change their ways despite the obvious harm it is doing, what would you do? I realize that is vague but there are too many extraneous circumstances to account for.

First of all, you can’t be crippled by an emotion unless you’re the one doing it to yourself. Love isn’t crippling you, and certainly not your parent’s love. It’s all those habitual, self-defeating coping mechanisms your parent taught you that are fucking you up at the moment.

Unfortunately, swapping out healthy coping mechanisms for the ugly ones is hard ass work by yourself, and under your current circumstances even harder.

To the extent that you can, cease to enable the codependency while planning for your eventual departure from that living situation.

Also, forgive. Both your parent and yourself. I realize all this too is vague, but it’s the best I can do with what you’ve given me.

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