Dear CT, I just got an email from one of my best female friends dropping the bombshell that she’s dating my sister’s ex (who only finished with my sister a couple of months ago and has constantly slated her publically since). To add insult to injury, she was a real dick about it, saying she thought she’d “be kind and wait till after Christmas to tell me” and that she is “so ecstatically happy, like I haven’t been in a long time.” I now have to break the news to my sister, who is also friends with this girl and is therefore gonna take this badly. How do I handle this CT? Am I the one being a dick? I know she can date whoever she wants, but I just think it’s wrong to date a friends sloppy seconds!
Your friend has made her choice. Now it’s time for you to make yours. Fortunately for you, this one is a no brainer, because the slighted ex in this mess is your sister. She’s family. There’s no question whose side you’ll pick.
As such, how you’ll proceed is based entirely on your sister’s reaction. If your sister goes nuclear and demands that you sever all ties with your freshly minted worst enemy, you’ll pretty much have to go along with it.
If your sister shrugs her shoulders and says fuck it, knowing full well that the bitch will get what she deserves in the end, then things can move forward awkwardly, but relatively unchanged.
At the moment, you are in a position to influence your sister’s reaction. You’re the one who gets to frame it for her when you break the bad news. I suggest you urge her to say fuck it, and do your best to keep the peace.
Sure, your friend has done you and your sister wrong, but she is just a rebound. The relationship is going to end badly, and when it does, your friend and your sister will suddenly have quite a bit more in common. When she comes back to you two with her tail between her legs apologizing for being a bad friend, it will be easier if you and your sister kept your cool the whole time.
Ask your sister to take the high road. In the long run, it will work out best for everyone. Remember, as hard as it will be, neither you nor your sister can take this personally. Your friend is a selfish, thoughtless little cunt, but she’s not trying to deliberately hurt you. It’s not about either of you.
You don’t have to forgive her just yet, and you sure as hell won’t ever forget, but for now, just keep a cool distance.
I’m sorry your friend turned out to be such a shit head.