I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years and I love him so much. He’s truly my partner in everything. We adopted a dog recently and we’re moving into our own place in a few months. Everything is sort of gliding effortlessly forward and that scares me for some reason. I’ve never had a relationship last this long that didn’t have some serious red flags by now. He is so supportive and reliable. Since I met him my life has become much more calm and stable, but sometimes that also seems boring. It’s like we’re too comfortable with each other, which I know sounds like complaining that my jewels are too heavy. How to I keep from becoming ungrateful for this life we have together? How do you keep this sort of thing fresh?
The relationship isn’t boring. Life is boring, and you’re just now noticing for the first time as an adult because you aren’t being distracted by some youthful flavor of chaos.
If you want to keep from becoming ungrateful, do some serious soul-searching and identify exactly what’s missing in your life now that you’re in a stable, healthy relationship. “Things aren’t fresh anymore” isn’t a good enough answer. Be very fucking specific, and very fucking honest with yourself. Remember, fresh isn’t the same thing as exciting, and excitement isn’t the same thing as chaos.
If you can’t come up with a specific and valid problem other than the mild state of boredom known as everyday life, then guess what? This is as good as it gets. Take that as good news or bad. Either way, you’d be wise not to go searching for a taste of chaos. That shit isn’t a spice.