Mike Rowe or Ben Bailey?

Dirty Jobs or Cash Cab? Really? Even if I let those two double team me, I doubt they’d keep my interest after the first commercial break.

That square-jawed “Aw shucks, ma’am” likability is great for hosting The Discovery Channel, but trust me, sex with on-air talent gets really fucking boring unless you’re in a room full of mirrors.

On the other hand, Mike Rowe strikes me as an old-school pussy hound, and after some of the shit I’ve seen him do on Dirty Jobs, he might be the type who really puts the spit shine on your junk.

I guess I’ll go with Mike. Still, it’d be a little too much like doing one of my dad’s friends. You know, the good looking one that sells cars or some shit.