On calling the cops

I agree with your last post, but as a psychiatrist, gotta add my two cents. Her boyfriend sounds like he has borderline personality disorder (frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, chronic suicidal gestures, history of self harm, impulsive, manipulation) and borderlines have a pretty high suicide rate of about 10%. I agree he’s being manipulative, inappropriate and toxic, but he’s also impulsive and reactive enough to make you regret thinking, “He’s not going to kill himself.” I’d argue he’s likely to do something dumb and if he accidentally overdoses or gets found with his head in an oven because she ignores his text…well that’s a mind fuck for her. I’d recommend just calling the cops, tell them everything and make sure they relay it to the hospital, have him taken to an ER and likely he’ll end up admitted to a psych floor. That way he’s safe, she can feel like he got help and more importantly…she’s not dealing with his death for the next few years. At that point though, I agree, never look back. Good luck with the next chapter!

You’re a shrink and you trust the system, but calling the cops is a big fucking deal for civilians. I don’t recommend it unless she’s already removed herself from the situation, and then only if he makes a specific threat.

Sure, it’d be awful for her if this asshole really did try and hurt himself, but having your suicidal ex sent up on a 5150 is a pretty big mind fuck too.

It’s a shitty decision either way.


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