I tried to break up with my boyfriend a few days ago, and after yelling at me and throwing the things I was trying to pack, he physically barricaded the front door with his body (after bolting and locking it). He broke down crying and told me that he won’t let me leave and threatened self harm. He has openly told me that he attempted suicide multiple times as a teenager. I stayed because I am genuinely concerned for his safety but every instinct inside of me is screaming to get out of this. I love and care for him deeply, but I am well aware our relationship is toxic. I know I can’t control what he does to himself, but I just would like to know how you’d navigate this situation.
Pack up all your shit and get the fuck out. Do it as quickly as possible, preferably when he’s not around. The relationship is already over. You didn’t “try” to break up with him. You did break up with him. Now he’s just using emotional blackmail to hold you hostage.
Quit worrying about his safety. He’s not going to kill himself. Even if he did hurt himself (which he won’t) it’s not your fault. He’s just saying fucked up shit like that to manipulate you, which is all the more reason for you to run for the hills and never speak to this motherfucker again.
Set whatever feelings you have for him aside and simply leave. You don’t owe him an explanation or any further communication, and you are not responsible for his behavior.
Gather your strength and just fucking go.