If I frequently have chemistry with assholes, does that mean I’m probably an asshole?
Not necessarily, but it does mean something.
Do you frequently have chemistry with people you know up front to be assholes, or people who later turn out to be assholes? Those each mean something different.
If you frequently have chemistry with people you know up front to be assholes, that is to say, you are consciously attracted to them because they are assholes, that speaks to the environment in which you were raised. Specifically, your dad was probably an asshole. If you were raised by a single parent, then that parent was probably dating assholes around the time when you were 11 or 12 years old. Your family environment during that bridge from childhood to adolescence plays a tremendous role in your future relationship patterns. Take a hard look at how you were raised, and if you recognize any repeating maladaptive patterns, fuckin’ fix that shit before it ruins your life.
Now, if you frequently have chemistry with people who later turn out to be assholes, it could mean any number of things. Often it just means you’re a bad judge of character, but it could also mean that you’re a bit vindictive. (If everyone you date suddenly becomes an asshole the moment things end, that means you’re the problem.)
Of course, there’s always the chance that you have chemistry with assholes because you’re an asshole, but if you’re self-aware enough to know that you frequently have chemistry with assholes, you’re probably also self-aware enough to already know if you’re an asshole.
Whether you’re an asshole or not, if you frequently have chemistry with assholes, you gotta go deep and figure out why no matter what the reason, because I promise your life will be fucking miserable until you get that mess out of your system.