Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Is it okay to fail?
Hell yes. It’s necessary.

why does it bother me that my boyfriend is bisexual even though I spent a decent part of college hooking up with other girls at parties
Because there’s a double standard with regard to male bisexuality in our culture, and you’ve unthinkingly made it a part of your value system.

“Hooking up” sounds too juvenile and “sexual relations” too Bill Clinton-y. How should I talk about sex with my therapist?
Don’t modify your language to suit your therapist. Say whatever the fuck you want. Whatever gets it out of your mouth is best.

Found $100 on the ground, not attached to a wallet so I can’t really return it. I feel guilty spending someone else’s money, but just keeping it doesn’t mitigate their loss. Where would you donate it, charity makes everyone’s world better right? Sidenote: Should I have just walked past it? Kind of feel weird that I even picked it up.
If you want to donate it, give the hundred to Planned Parenthood. It’s okay to keep it, though. You haven’t done anything wrong.

Are there any sports where women could hold their own if we had integrated men’s/women’s teams?
Baseball, soccer, tennis, and golf leap to mind, but what the fuck do I know?

Have you seen the series Transparent? Should I start watching?
Yes. It’s amazing. The performances are so damn good. The Pfeffermans are a brilliantly written family of spoiled rotten narcissists, each of whom you’ll either love or love to hate. Give it three episodes and you’ll be hooked.

Would you bother taking an ex to court for money they owed you? Or just write it off as an expensive bullet you thankfully dodged?
If the amount belongs in small claims court, I’d let it go.

How did you find drug connects in your new town?
I’ve deliberately chosen not to find drug connects in my new town, but if you’re asking for yourself, the answer is to hang out with people who do drugs.

Do you listen to vinyl?
I have a small but respectable collection.


18 thoughts on “On fun-sized advice

      • Strangely Rational says:

        Everyone takes drugs. There are very, very few exceptions to this.

        What you are doing is making a distinction between “approved” drugs and “non-approved” drugs. If you look at what’s legal/illegal, what’s very/not very beneficial, what’s very/not very risky, you’ll see that it’s pretty arbitrary.

        Most people are in serious denial about drugs. Somehow calling it “a prescription” or “medication” makes it seem so different. But how is it different, really? There are prescriptions that are riskier and more addictive than certain street drugs.

        The only difference is whether you’re getting your doctor’s stamp of approval or society’s stamp of disapproval. If you think that has anything to do with maturity, you’re pretty simple-minded yourself.

    • ansuz says:

      I’d guess she’s learned all she can from them, has gotten good enough at managing her mind and body that the ones that offer quick (temporary) fixes for mismanagement* are unnecessary, and/or has grown out of the scene.
      There’s also the possibility of a health issue, or that the new job makes drug use impractical or too risky.

      *this is a stronger word than I’d like, but I can’t think of a better one.

    • Jen says:

      She never said that. Have you all not noticed she is working on a big project, has moved to an unfamiliar community, that flights to cities where she could party once in a while are available? Not saying I know, but there are plenty of reasons she has mentioned that drug use may not line up with her current situation. I love that we are all so interested to know more.

    • Plagarism says:

      She’s probably just chosen not to party as much because she’s trying to find a real, deep connection as she’s mentioned. Drugs are still fucking awesome, bye.

  1. Chops says:

    re sports: Most team sports could honestly be co-ed in an ideal world where we raised women to be athletic in the same way that we raise men. Especially in team sports with skill positions or indie sports that dont rely on size so much as power (like Coke mentioned baseball and tennis). I 100% believe Serena Williams would be just as competitive playing men as she is playing women.

  2. JC says:

    I have a similar feeling about men who are bisexual, but I feel like my issue comes down to gay/bi men being statistically more promiscuous and me being a germophobe. It’s pretty hot otherwise. If I knew that a guy were squeaky clean and we were exclusive, I don’t think I’d have any issue about it.

        • Strangely Rational says:

          That is what condoms and other safe sex practices are for. Statistics aren’t going to help you when you have sex with someone who has only had one partner before . . . who is HIV positive.

          For me, it’s not about how many or what kind of sex partners a guy has had before me. It’s about whether he’s responsible and has tested clean.

          • JC says:

            I basically agree with you. However, do people really ask potential partners to go get tested before having sex with them? Beyond that, there are no tests for HPV and HSV for men that I’m aware of. Some STIs can be transmitted even while wearing condoms, from oral sex, etc.

            Honestly, I’d run around fucking everyone all the time if I didn’t have to worry about blisters on my lady bits. I have zero moral compunctions about how many or what gender partners someone has had.

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