On disappointment.

Am I being unrealistic in expecting my partner to not disappoint me? I understand problems will arise in any relationship, but when it is a recurring problem and talking about it isn’t creating any solutions, is my only option to leave?

Maybe I’m being foolish, but if there is anybody that could knock me out of it, it would be you Coke Talk.

Are you being unrealistic? Yes. Disappointment happens. It’s inevitable, but you know what? Our partners also support us and make us laugh and cuddle with us and sex us up when we need sexing. That’s why we keep them around, right?

If the recurring problem overshadows all those good things, then sure, you’ve got a tough choice to make, but what are we really talking about here? Is he addicted to crack, or does he just wear too much cologne? Is she going down on all your friends, or does she just chew with her mouth open? It’s all a matter of degree.

I doubt you’re being foolish, but it sounds like you might be confusing high expectations for high standards. It’s good to have both, but you need to understand the difference between someone merely letting you down versus someone ultimately not being good enough.

Everyone has limitations and imperfections, and in an intimate relationship, you’re gonna stumble into them from time to time. When your partner drops the ball, just give him some shit and make him pick it back up. Hopefully, he gets better each time. If he doesn’t, and it’s a dealbreaker, then so be it.

Fuck it. This stuff is hard. Real relationships are a bitch sometimes. Whatever you’re dealing with, I hope it works out.

Good luck.


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