I’m 33, single, newly unemployed and for the first time in my life able to say “fuck it” and do some extended, no-return-flight-booked traveling. Where would you go?
I could name a bunch of cities, but fuck that. As of tonight, it’s Springtime in the Northern Hemisphere and Autumn in the Southern Hemisphere. You know yourself. Pick your favorite season. Pick a place where you’ve always dreamed of having a love affair, and then just go.
If denial is drinking piss from a golden chalice, is acceptance drinking Dom Perignon from a party cup?
Yeah, okay. I can get behind that metaphor.
How do I accept the inevitable?
By realizing that it doesn’t matter whether you accept it or not.
What are your favorite movies about LA? I’ll be moving there next year and I’d like to imbue myself with the city beforehand.
LA Story, The Big Lebowski, Magnolia, Wonderland, Jackie Brown, Point Break, The Player, Clueless, Beverly Hills Cop, LA Confidential, Drive, Swingers, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and Boogie Nights.
I woke up naked next to my ex. How do I justify this?
It happens. No need for justification. (Just don’t make a habit of it.)
I’m 21 male and bored of sex and not attracted to anyone. HOW DO I GET MY DRIVE BACK?
Stop watching porn. (Give it at least a month. If you don’t notice a difference, hit me up in the comments and we’ll go from there.)
Do people generally submit enough concise questions for you to do a fun-sized advice post, or do you edit the questions to make them fun-sized?
I get a shit-ton of fun-sized questions. After all these years, my readers just kind of know the difference between fun-sized and regular sized, so there’s no need to edit them at all.
Are you addicted to anything?
Nope. Never have been, but with my history of decadence and drug use, it’s not really fair for me to take credit for that. I won the genetic/environmental lottery with regard to addiction. It’s just luck that I’m not predisposed to addictive behavior, and I know that about myself.
How many books do you own?
Dude. That’s kind of like asking how many people I’ve slept with. (I honestly have no idea, but it’s a lot.)