I had a one night stand with a co-worker after the company Holiday party. I always thought he was cute and I was very drunk. He came back to my place and at first it was just about the sex but then we ended up having an amazing conversation and connection.
During our conversation, he was honest with me that he was casually dating someone else. We have moved on past that night, chalked it up to having a great connection and have become friends. We’ve started hanging out weekly. He is now in a full fledged relationship with the other girl and I am casually dating.
Here’s the problem: I’ve developed feelings for him and I don’t know how to proceed. We have so much fun together and I want to continue spending time together. Also, he’s now in an exclusive relationship and the timing clearly isn’t right.
Can these types of feelings just be repressed? I’m guessing it’s just a crush. The thing is, I haven’t had feelings for someone like this in a while and it’s scaring the hell out of me.
Fuuuck. This question hit me hard. You and I are in the exact same situation. I mean, right down to the scary details.
We hang out professionally, and we still have a connection, and I love every minute we spend together right up until the moment I’m reminded that I’m not the one who got picked.
I’m not even crushing anymore and it’s still fucking brutal sometimes. I get those pangs. I know how you feel, but there’s nothing to do except let it wash over you and curse the gods of shitty timing.
If you’re worried that you might be falling for this guy, you probably shouldn’t repress those feelings. You can try to control your emotions a bit, but that kind of thing takes a lot of practice and is really hard to do. There is no magic trick to this stuff. Sometimes you just gotta let yourself fall a little helplessly.
I wish I had a better answer for you. I wish I could tell you this wasn’t going to hurt, but it will. It really fucking will.