My parents kicked my 17 year old sister out of the house after they found out she’s been fucking a 30 year old wannabe poet with white guy dreadlocks. Now I have a teenager sleeping on my couch and eating all my food. I love her, but I’m not playing anyones mommy. It’s been two weeks and neither my parents or sister has shown any sign of budging. How do I get my sister off my couch and back to my parents?
She’s seventeen. Drive her the fuck back to the house, walk her through the front door, and tell your shitty parents that they can’t legally kick her out until her next birthday. If they don’t like it, then they can help your idiot sister find a job and a place to live where she can start paying rent. In the meantime, you’re done babysitting.
Set some fucking boundaries with your parents and your sister. It won’t be pleasant, but it will be worthwhile. Family is family, but you should never feel obligated to let their poor life decisions blow back on you.