When I masturbate, I often think about going down on my boyfriend. When i’m actually with him, though, the thought of it disgusts me and I can’t do it. He knows I don’t want to and says he doesn’t care (I trust him, but this is a sensitive area because i’ve actually had to dump an ex because of the same issue, so i’m not positive he doesn’t mind) but I don’t know why in theory, in my bed alone, i’m down for it but in his bed, i’m absolutely not.
This one’s easy, sweetheart. You’re masturbating to the thought of exerting sexual control over your man using your mouth. That’s the fantasy.
You’re not masturbating to the gamey flavor of his unwashed cock, nor are you masturbating to the uncomfortable sensation of your gag reflex kicking in when he holds you down by the back of your head. That’s the reality.
Fantasy versus reality. It’ll fuck you every time.