What is it like to sleep with someone who has large tattoos on their body? Is it different? Is it distracting?

Oh hey, Sandra Bullock. Yeah, these thoughts aren’t healthy for you right now.

Seriously, don’t dwell on your biker husband’s year long love affair with a tattoo model. I’m sure their sex wasn’t at all creative, deviant, or athletic.

It’s best if you just put it out of your mind and refocus your energy on pandering to middle-brow America’s latent racism and dull sense of humor.