I’ve been fucking someone with a girlfriend for four years. Apparently, he loves us both. It’s fun when we’re together until we’re not, then I’m left to think of him with her. How do I regain control of my emotions? I don’t want to care anymore. I don’t want to care about him.
Regain control of your emotions? Fuck you. It’s not like you got drunk one night and accidentally fucked a dude who wasn’t single. You’ve spent nearly half a damn decade as the other woman. Quit acting like you lost your free will and take some responsibility for your shitty behavior.
If you don’t want to care about him anymore, step back and recognize this dude for the duplicitous piece of shit that he is. Start caring for your own emotional well being, and have some fucking self-respect.
You’re better than this, aren’t you? Come on, at least admit that you deserve more than being a mistress. Who gives a flying fuck if he says he loves you both? Do you have any idea how slimy that sounds? You’re nothing but a runner-up piece of ass to a douchebag capable of long-term deceit and emotional dishonesty.
This guy has zero integrity. You don’t want his love. It’s not worth it. It never was. Cut your losses and fucking end it.