My girlfriend told me that if I got a lap dance she’d break up with me in the context of a general conversation with friends. I was at the strip club for a bachelor party and a friend bought me a lap dance and I didn’t say no, so it happened. I tried to tell her that it didn’t happen, but I thought it would be better if I just fessed up. It wasn’t but frankly, the guilt was too much. She was pissed. She is generally awesome and everything I want long-term, and we have been together for a couple of years. I don’t want to lose her. I know I fucked up, and I said so. Is there anything else I can do or say to make it work?
No really, fuck you. You are a pathetic, emasculated excuse for a man, and you deserve every miserable second you spend with this uptight, hypervigilant cunt.
If you had even the slightest ounce of self-respect, you would promptly remove your balls from this bitch’s purse and reassess what you want out of a long-term partner, because I assure you, she is not “generally awesome.”
If she breaks up with you, run. You got lucky. Of course, you’re too far gone to know how good that advice really is.
Oh well, sucks to be you.