I have no problem in admitting when it comes to men, looks tend to come first.  For a while that look has been the grungy hipster one.  Now I’m an 18 year old, Urban Outfitter-working, indie show-attending, attractive girl from San Francisco who’s moving out to LA next month. I’ve never had problems with finding an assortment of the type in NorCal, but to be honest I really  don’t know much about the scene down south.

What advice/tips do you have in terms of finding the quality hipster men of Los Angeles?

Can’t wait to get beard rash on your inner thighs? Here, bitch, let me get you Dov Charney’s personal cell phone number. We’ll have you in a tank thong on dirty sheets faster than you can say “Spaceland hand stamp.”

Yeah, right.

I respect the effort that went in to crafting this hilariously full-of-shit question, but you oversold the premise on this one big time. An attractive eighteen year old working at Urban Outfitters? In San Francisco? You’ve got to be joking.

Not even the ugly girl at Forever 21 would type “the quality hipster men of Los Angeles” with a straight face.

Better luck next time, Carles.