Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice.

How much do you buy into the Western ideal of beauty? I mean, you do live in LA.
I don’t buy into it. I fucking sell it.

i had an audition today and i think i failed, how do i deal with nerves or rejection.
You’re fucked if you think blowing an audition is the same thing as failure. Not showing up is the only way you can fail.

Why don’t my nipples get perky anymore when I’m aroused?
Go back to rehab, Tiger Woods.

Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone you weren’t previously physically attracted to?
Yes. Although I’m much more likely to find myself unattracted to someone I was previously physically attracted to.

What’s your favorite thing to do when you masturbate?
Me, myself and I.

What’s your take on all the dead birds and fish popping up all over the world?
I was gonna wait for a rational explanation from the world’s best investigative biologists and ecologists, but apparently it’s because god hates fags.

Love you bitch.  Your tweets during the State of the Union were fucking amazing; keep at it.
Yeah, I really do get more political when I’m on my period.

Godless liberal.

What kind of girl were you in high school? Slut? Loner? Popular? Nerd? Outcast?

How do you regain your dignity after you’ve lost it?
Dignity isn’t something you lose like pride or self-respect. It’s inherent. It’s philosophically innate.

What’s your idea of a nice date night?
I prefer a genuine human connection followed by a healthy round of athletic sex. The rest is just window dressing.

How do you know for a fact that there is no god or higher being?
How do you know for a fact that The Matrix was just a movie?

On my bucket list, the last thing left for me to do is burn a nice blunt with you, and chill. Make this happen?
When the Make-A-Wish Foundation contacts me, I’ll consider it.

How do I stop wasting time?
There’s no such thing.


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