Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice.

If Ayn Rand’s philsosphy is methadone, whose is buprenorphine?
Tony Robbins.

Why do people like jazz?
Because some folks will always insist on doing things the hard way.

Size or Performance, in your opinion?

What do you think of good, clean people?
They make great employees.

Do you think crying is a sign of weakness?
No. Crying is a sign of emotion.

What is the cure for unrequited love?
Time and distance.

why do people put so much value on virginity? is it just so they can micromanage our vaginas? or is there a logical explanation?
Grown-ups don’t trust hormonal teens not to fuck shit up. Never have, never will.

Do you think being horny is a good enough reason to start having sex? Or would I have to deal with the emotional blowback from a mess of teenage hormones soon afterwards?

Classiness: a state of mind, or a product of privilege?

Are you as hot for Jeff Goldblum as I am? (I’m totally serious here.)
Um, probably not, no.

How can I distinguish my integrity from arrogance?
With a dictionary.

What do you think of American Apparel’s advertisements?

They work.

Hi, I was just wondering who did that cover of Say It Ain’t So on your trntbl. I really like it. Thanks


How do I know if everything I am learning is wrong or not?
Factually wrong? Check your sources. Ethically wrong? Check your conscience. Epistemologically wrong? Check your reasoning.

Do you ever think about shaving those long locks of yours for the Emma Watson pixie ‘do?
Oh dear, no. Growing it back is a nightmare, and at street level, I can’t pull that shit off without looking like a skinny boy. Quite frankly, neither can Emma.

how tight should a man’s pants be?

Unless he’s on stage, a man’s pants shouldn’t be so tight that the word tight would be used to describe them. It’s a subjective standard, but deadly accurate.

Has anyone ever brought up your blog in front of you, not knowing that you were the writer?

Yep. I’ve even been quoted to myself. One time, during a little cocktail party conversation some rando lawyer busted out my definition of cheating. The dude had it memorized. Verbatim. Gotta admit, it felt pretty awesome.

If you had to give up one for the rest of your life…cheese or oral sex?

Are you from Wisconsin or something? How is this even a choice? Fuck cheese. Fuck it forever and a day. I will not be giving up oral sex, thank you very much.


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