Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice

Are you really Dolly Parton deflating all the rage out of your boobs?
Rage? How dare you. That O.G. diva badass and her majestic boobs are filled with nothin’ but love, peace, and bacon grease.

Cold Stone Creamery is amazing.

So is cocaine, but I’ve got enough fucking dignity and class not to ask my dealer for the “Gotta Have It” size.

Did you know that you’re #23 in the Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2010?

Holy shit. Had no idea. Pretty cool.

Is it wrong to not be entirely honest with my shrink to get a free prescription of anti-depressants?

Nothing’s free. It will cost you. Your call.

I had a dream I met you last night. It rocked.

Of course it did.

What’s the difference between playing hard to get and being hard to get?

What’s the difference between Joan Holloway and Christina Hendricks?

What does it feel like to die?

It really depends on your state of consciousness at the time, but don’t worry, asshole, you’ll find out.

i wonder what it feels like to be a big giant whore.

Ask your mom.

What crosses your mind the moment you unzip his pants and find his cock is uncircumcised?

Why the fuck do you people keep insisting that I should care about this?

why is it so hard to find a job?

Because the global economy is slowly collapsing as it runs out of oil. No biggie.

What’s the last book you read?

The Moral Landscape. I wanna have a million of Sam Harris’s babies. Seriously, though. I think one day Sam will be known as the father of a new field of Moral Science. If I were in academia, I’d consider devoting my career to that field.

Do you call yourself a humanist?

Not unless I’m making fun of myself at a gallery opening.

Break-up season? WTF is break-up season?

January 1st through February 15th. The forty five day window immediately following the stress of the holidays, bolstered by the resolve of new years resolutions, and culminating in all the Valentines day bullshit. Mark your calendars, kids.


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