Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice

Why do you follow Sarah Palin’s Twitter if you hate that bitch so much?
Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away.

Bad time to be hispanic in America, huh?

Nope. Despite Fox News, this is the best time to be anything in America.

What makes the world go round?
Angular momentum.

How do you feel about BDSM?

Do you think that being bisexual is selfish?
No, being monogamous is.

You’re a man. Yes or no?
No, but I get asked this a lot when I write about open relationships.

Have you ever had any sort of cosmetic surgery?
Yes, I had the go fuck yourself procedure done a few years ago.

do you know of any video online of two virgins having sex for the first time?
You’re startin’ to get a little creepy there, Tiger Woods.

In all dead seriousness, should I spit or swallow?
Didn’t your mother teach you that spitting was rude?

What’s your take on the world ending in 2010?
I think you need to double check your Mayan calendar.

With this economy, what job positions do you recommend, then?
Geriatrics. Taking care of old people is all our generation will have left.

I hate my life, what should I do about it?
See if the feds will let you enter witness protection just for fun.

How does one act graceful right after being dumped?
Avoid contact. Rebound in public. Cry in private.

Have you ever used a female condom for sexual intercourse?
The female condom is the Area 51 of contraception. For the longest time it was a myth, and even though we know it exists today, no one has ever seen it except on the internet.


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