Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice

I love/hate you. What’s wrong with me?
Nothing. To know me is to love/hate me.

What do you do when you can’t go out?

Can anybody hear me?
Yes. Better question: does anybody care?

Should i quit my job?
Go find another one first.

Vet school or medical school?
Medical school.

Thong or boy shorts?
Boy shorts.

TLC or Destiny’s Child?
The Supremes.

Would you suck my penis?
Leave me alone, Tiger Woods.

The sex was so good he said, “I love you,” even when he didn’t mean it.
He meant it, but he was talking to your pussy.

Any tips for an aspiring male bartender?
Shut up and pour my drink.

What do you think of people who shoplift?
Petty crime is for petty people.

What do you think of girls making the first move?
Somebody’s gotta do it.

Why can’t I stop getting myself piss drunk to seek male attention?
We’ve been over this. You hate yourself.

If you had herpes, how would you carry on your life?
With a Valtrex prescription and a warning label.

Should burquas be banned?
No. They should just fall out of fashion.


One thought on “On fun sized advice

  1. Rimi says:

    I’ve been missing Coquette so I hit random this time (instead of refresh) and it took me here. Fucking perfect. <3
    A recommendation to read Dear Coquette was the BEST thing to have come out of a middle of the road, pleasant enough OK Cupid date.

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