Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

I’m worried that my existence causes more harm than good.
Fuck you. Your existence isn’t significant enough to cause either harm or good. Quit worrying about your own dumb ass and just go treat people with kindness.

Can you have sexual fantasies about your platonic friends?
Of course you can.

Is it immoral to be paid to write essays for lazy college students?
If you’re helping students cheat, then it’s unethical from an institutional perspective, but if you’re not also a student, do you really give a shit about the school’s ethics? As for a moral judgement, I’d need more context. If “lazy” is the most I have to go on, then “probably” is the best answer I can give you.

I don’t steal or cheat because I understand why they’re wrong, even though when I have in the past I’ve never felt guilty, but why is lying bad?
It’s not that lying is “bad.” It’s that integrity and credibility are virtues, and lying (or any type of willful deception) puts you in a position to lose both. If people can’t trust you, then you are well and truly fucked.

I’m in my first year of working toward a phD in neuroscience. I want to supplement the neuroscience with courses that will help to give it context and meaning. What would you recommend? Philosophy?
Philosophy is great, but intro classes aren’t going to add context to a neuroscience PhD. Bridge the gap with cognitive science classes — philosophy of mind, cognitive psychology, neurolinguistics — cool shit like that. is almost entirely click-bait. It’s cultural garbage. You’re very critical of other people’s creative output, maybe you should look a little closer to home.
Thanks for the input, Reverend Snooty McSmarmypants. In case you hadn’t noticed, a hot pile of cultural garbage is my signature fucking dish, and the good folks at Nerve pay me well and on time to write whatever the fuck I want. Go ahead, ask your nearest literary professional. It really doesn’t get much better than that.

I read “On Panicking.” Somebody’s been watching too much True Detective. Don’t let thin Matthew McConaughey suck you in girl. There be monsters.
Ha! Please. I’ve been saying this shit for half a damn decade. I love how you heard a few well-written lines of nihilistic dialog, and suddenly I’m the one watching too much TV.

Are you @dearcoquette on Instagram? Doesn’t seem like you. I call impostor, for various reasons, but especially since that user just started following me and I post a bajillion pictures of my 7 month old child. Doesn’t seem like your gig… Or is it?
Nope, it’s not me. Whoever it is seems to be a fan, but I can’t tell whether it’s creepy or a compliment. (For the record, I don’t use Instagram or Facebook.)


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