Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

You told some chick a while back that if she married her fiancé despite his history of cheating on her, he would do it again (even if several years had passed). How can you be so sure?
Human. Fucking. Nature.


My boyfriend writes off everything I say under the guise that “I read too many books.” I can’t tell if I’m being a pretentious douchebag or if he’s just a little insecure. Who’s to blame?

He’s to blame for his ignorance and disrespect. You’re to blame for your shitty choice in boyfriends.


I’m in a new relationship but I can’t stop thinking about that crazy bitch-ex who broke my heart. I can’t seem to give this new relationship the full monty. It’s fucking everything up. What do I do?

Stop referring to your ex as a crazy bitch, and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Take responsibility for your lame bullshit. A broken heart is one thing, but this sounds like a bruised ego.


Where’s the best Mexican food in LA?

My personal favorites are El Compadre on Sunset for the basics and Rivera Downtown for the fancy stuff. (I know this question is polarizing for the locals. Feel free to leave your favorites in the comments section.)


Why do you keep trying to give us answers? You know better than anyone that there are none.

Yeah, but at least there’s Mexican food.


How do you stay motivated to do anything at all, and not just walk around filled with constant anxiety?

Xanax and new shoes.


I think I’m falling in love for the first time and I just wanted to tell somebody.

I envy you and pity you at the same time. Best of luck, and thanks for sharing.


Please introduce me to a new sex position.

Try the one where you make sober, unflinching eye contact with your partner while sharing a deep emotional connection.


Jesus christ, what happened to you today.

Nothing.

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