Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

I don’t want a diamond engagement ring. In fact, I think I just want an elegant band, but I can’t find the right one and I don’t really know where to look. You’re like my cool older sister with better taste – can you point me in the right direction?
I dunno, I kinda dig the political poetry in opting to wear a men’s wedding band as your engagement ring. Just pick your metal, and look for a classic band with a thin profile.

I fucked a guy with a wife and baby on the way. He just got married but he’s been living with the girl for more than 5 years. I don’t even know if I like him. It’s just I want – SO BADLY – for him to like me. It’s the lowest I have ever GONE. And I need some slaps in my face to snap out of it.

You know what you did was wrong, so let’s set aside your shitty behavior for a moment and help you recognize a deeper truth: The worst thing about you is that you believe you need to fuck a guy in order to get him to like you.

Smack dab in a love triangle. Love both people. No idea what to do, but leaning toward removing myself from the both of them until I at least get my shit together. Is that the right thing to do?

If your goal is to let the chips fall where they may, then personally, I’ve always found it’s much more fun to choose both than to choose neither.

Are you down with Edward Snowden?

Yes. I am down with Edward Snowden. (Will you please stop asking now? It’s been months, and this odd little question is starting to get creepy.)

Is honesty cruel when it boils down to “I am no longer sexually attracted to you”?

I can be. Cruelty isn’t a product of the honest words. It’s a product of how, when, and why you deliver them.

Sex with friends, without feelings, for shits and giggles: Good idea?

Sure, but be careful what you mean when you say “without feelings.”

What exactly is a player?

One who participates in the game.

How does one have a threesome with two gay men, as a girl, without being incredibly disappointing?

The same way you avoid disappointment in all things: adjust your expectations so that they align with reality.


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