My life is a painful cycle of ups and downs with him, but I feel dead inside without him. What do I do?
Stop making it about him. This is about you and how you allow yourself to be emotionally dependent on another person. Stop doing that. Individuate. Take responsibility for your own emotional states and don’t give other people the power to define your life. This goes for everyone you know — friends, family members, and all your future boyfriends. (Yes. Future boyfriends. Your current relationship is going to end. The sooner the better.)
I love my girlfriend of three years but I don’t want to fuck her anymore. We have a really nice life together. What now?
“What now?” is the wrong question. Instead, ask yourself, “Why now?” I couldn’t possibly have an answer for you, but that’s what you should be working to figure out for yourself.
Does the fact that I secretly hope my father (whom I resent and have a fraught relationship with) isn’t around (read: alive) for my wedding (whenever the fuck that is) make me a terrible person?
Do you see what you’ve done here? Dead or alive, you’ve given your father the power to ruin your future wedding. Stop giving him that kind of power. Come to terms with his limitations. Accept him. (That doesn’t mean involve him in your life. It just means accept that he’ll never be who you need him to be and let that shit go.)
Where is the line between being on her side and being an enabler?
The line is crossed the moment your actions begin to reinforce her maladaptive patterns of behavior.
I’m in love with my cheating ex – what to do?
Are you sure it’s him you’re in love with? I mean him. Who he really is right now as a human being — not his potential, not who he was when you met, not the idea of him you have in your head — him. Be honest.
I’m a poet, he’s a songwriter. Most of my poems are about him, none of his songs are about me. I have no doubt that he loves me, but why doesn’t he show it in his art?
I honestly don’t know how he tolerates you.
Do you regret telling the two exes about your secret identity?
Not at all. Loyalty and trust can extend beyond relationships, and those are two ride or die motherfuckers, the kind I wouldn’t hesitate to call if I needed help getting rid of a body. Besides, none of this ridiculousness would have been possible without them.
Have you ever fallen in love with someone religious?
Nope. I’ve made sinners out of several, but nothing close to love. (That’s an odd detail to pull out of me. Why do you ask?)
Don’t let the sycophantic comments section get to your head, love.
Please. You needn’t worry about the sycophants, darling. The hate mail is my source of pride.