Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Any guesses as to why is it rare for me to achieve an orgasm unless I’m being choked?
Um, yeah. It’s simple behavioral reinforcement. Cerebral hypoxia makes for one hell of an antecedent stimulus prior to orgasm.

Do I want safe and warm, or do I want ecstatic?

Quit making false dichotomies with your love life.

When is using the word “whore” appropriate? Or is it never?

Feel free to use the word “whore” to describe a person who puts a price on their integrity. Never use the word “whore” to impugn a person’s promiscuity.

There’s shit music on at a party. The host is loving it, everyone else is staring awkwardly at the ground. Socially acceptable to quietly change playlists?

Sure, but if you’re more comfortable leaving the party than you are changing the music, simply get the fuck out. Either way, don’t ever let anyone hold you hostage with bad music.

What would your profile say? From the “tagline” all the way down to the “about me and what I’m looking for” section. Are you kidding me? That’s the worst dating site on the planet. It’s a creepy-as-fuck graveyard of fake and abandoned profiles scotch-taped together with a horrible user interface. Never use

Gay here. My husband seems moody lately. One evening, he is just so irritated the minute I walk in, cant get a straight answer – seems like border line abuse to me. Then next evening he wants to plan the next vacation, cooks dinner and be as polite as can be. Is it just me thinking it???

Dude. People have moods. Sometimes they’re shitty. Maybe learn to back the fuck off occasionally, and quit making it about you.

So is your idea of the perfect marriage is one in which you and your partner are free to have extra-marital sex?

In a way, yes, but “free” implies that there are no consequences. That’s not how open relationships work.

Survived the holidays alright, Coquette?

Ha! Yep. Had to bite my tongue when my mom announced “the Indians should just get over it” with regard to changing the name of the Washington Redskins. Other than that, it was a pretty chill Thanksgiving.

I love that you take time to find and use the letter ‘é’ when you write French words.

Details fucking matter.


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