Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

What would you like to be doing when your 65?
My nails. Yoga. Younger men.

What’s wrong with having a life partner?
Nothing. I’m all for it, but let’s please make a distinction between the institution of marriage and what it means to have a life partner.

Why is tradition important?
History is important, and tradition is applied history. (Of course, that’s not to say you can’t interpret and/or write your own history.)

Why does everyone assume you’re white?
I guess I seem pretty white.

The days when I do want to live, I don’t know where to start. What do I do?
Start by making your bed.

There needs to be a word to express a feeling of admiration that you have for someone because they’ve done something cool/fun/interesting that you also wish you could do. Like envy, but without the resentment. Does such a word exist?
Pretty sure the word you’re looking for is esteem.

Has this decade’s culture been an improvement over the 00’s?
Too early to tell. In fact, I think this decade will be defined by uncertainty. The art will be good, but the politics will be brutal.

I used to love giving head. I’m still happy to do it for him, but it’s not fun for me anymore. What’s up with that??
If his dick was Candy Crush, you’d be on level 455. That’s why it’s not fun anymore. It’s a puzzle that you’ve already solved.

Are you this sardonic in person? Do you get along with children?
I get along with cool people of any age.

How do you shut a bunch of slut shaming bitches up?
Leftover bondage tape.


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