Fun-Sized Advice

On fun-sized advice

Nice to see you back about!
Good to be back.

Rate your own level of hotness between one and ten.
To answer with a number is to commodify myself and compete with my entire gender. Fuck that. No one should have to accept the premise of this question.

Any thoughts on the Paula Deen scandal?
Paula is a clown who broke the cardinal rule: never let the crowd see you without the makeup. And of course, the hypocrisy of our corporate overlords never ceases to amaze me.

What’s your take on American Apparel and its advertising methods?
American Apparel is the Girls Gone Wild of the fashion industry, and Dov Charney is the Joe Francis.

My friend moved to LA and became an egotistical dick. What the fuck?
LA is a catalyst for that kind of thing, but rest assured, it would have happened eventually anyway.

Why can’t I stop feeling like I’m nothing but wasted potential?
Because you’re living your life like it’s a preamble to some eventual state of accomplishment.

I end up hating all the guys I sleep with, even if they’re lovely. Why?
Because you resent that they treat you differently afterwards.

How can you tell if someone is a liar?
Everyone is a liar.

i found my ex girlfriend’s okcupid page. it hurt to see it! what do i do?
Stop creeping.

is it a compliment if someone tells you that your body gave them an eating disorder?
Nope.

I cheated on my boyfriend, now he feels he should cheat also to get even. Fair?
Nope.

What is the point of patriotism?
War.

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