Has unlimited access to porn stunted the sexual growth of a whole generation of Internet-having teenage boys?
Stunted is the wrong word. Affected is more accurate, and it’s not just the boys.

I got into my dream school but they aren’t giving me enough money for it to be a possibility. What the fuck do I do?
Suck it up and go somewhere you can afford. Welcome to your first lesson in the American social class system. Sorry you don’t have rich parents.

Why am I so jealous of better looking people?
You’re not jealous. You’re envious, and it’s because you want what they have.

How do I deal with the fact that the world is generally cold and unforgiving?
Find a warm corner and surround yourself with good people.

Why do we look for different things in a best friend than a significant other?
Platonic love is different than romantic love. That’s just a part of the human condition.

What do you think about the Pope’s proclamation that atheists can be good and can be “saved”?
It adds a fresh twist to Pascal’s Wager, but that’s just cocktail party conversation. At the end of the day, the Pope’s just an old man in a silly hat.

I think Stephen Fry is made of condensed Englishness. What are you made of?
Aerosolized Americanness.

Amanda Bynes. What is up with her?
Nothing.

What do you do with your free time? What does the Coquette do with a lazy Sunday?
This.