Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice.

Dear Coquette,

What are you going to dress up as for halloween?
Boo, the world’s cutest dog.


If you had to choose one of the GOP candidates, who would it be?

Fred Karger.


What are you currently reading? Yes, I’m looking for a new stimulating book to read.

This Is Where I Leave You,” by Jonathan Tropper. It’s hilarious and heartfelt.


Do you read books on paper exclusively? How do you feel about e-readers?

My books never run out of batteries.


What do you think is the future of the publishing industry?

Longer-lasting batteries.


What’s the best way to go in for a kiss with someone you’ve known for a while?

With your head, but without your mind.


Is bad kissing a deal breaker?

Yes.


I walked downstairs to find my dad rushing away from the computer and pulling up his pants the other night. How do I act around him now?

Loudly, especially as you walk down the stairs.


Why is it that when I’m dating a guy and I start showing more interest, they decide to disappear?

Because you don’t know the difference between showing interest and acting needy.


I am constantly able to hear my neighbors having sex … what should I do?!

Record them, mix in some fresh beats, and drop a CD off on their doorstep.


What do you think of the Mississippi movement to define a person as existing at the moment of conception?

It’s yet another round of regressive, wrong-headed ridiculousness from the religious right.


I find what you say to be interesting, but do you ever get tired of being so cynical? Do you honestly like anyone in this world, aside from yourself?

Ryan Gosling seems pretty likable.


Give me some reassurance that my life isn’t pointless.

No. Go get it yourself.

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