On getting healthy.

So contrary to today’s question asker I am fat… I am obese. I am a size 24 and I need lose weight. The issue is that I come from an extremely dysfunctional family. I am the most successful of my siblings – I went to college and have a degree, I have a great job, own my own place and have a nice car. Both of my siblings are divorced, neither really went to college – my brother is a (sometimes) recovering addict, my sister divorced her addict husband, and both typically are hovering just above the poverty line (at least when my brother is sober he is). Both also have children that aren’t always parented and are only well behaved about 30% of the time. Back to me – I have been fat since I was 10 – I have lost and re-gained weight a million times. I have cut ties with my family and been sucked back in over and over again. I’m 31 and although I am a serial monogamist I often feel like I am too damaged to truly have a successful relationship – thus I’ve never been married and I don’t have children. So a lot of days i feel like it’s an accomplishment that I am as “normal” and “well-adjusted” as I am considering the circumstances. Is it okay to continue to eat my feelings and dysfunction away? Should I feel accomplished that even though I am fat and cannot conquer this obstacle that at least I can hold the rest of my figurative shit together? And does it matter that regardless of your answer my self-esteem is still going to suck?

You are not normal, nor are you well-adjusted. You are incredibly unhealthy, both physically and emotionally. It’s great that you got a degree, a job, a home, and a car, but don’t confuse your bourgeois starter kit for normalcy or accomplishment.

In fact, fuck normalcy. That shouldn’t be your goal in the first place. You’re chasing security and happiness where they don’t exist. Instead, seek balance. That’s what’s missing in your life. On some level you already know that, which is why you’re coming at me with all this rationalization.

I can’t tell you how to achieve balance, but I doubt you’ll be able to do it without losing weight and coming to terms with your family. Go see a shrink, and while you’re at it, a doctor.

Getting healthy isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.


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