Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice

I’m going to Italy, do you want anything while I’m out?
Sure, I’ll take a Maserati GranTurismo Convertible, please.

Any advice for a 14 year old girl?
Read books. Ignore all of the magazines. Cultivate your own style. Develop informed opinions about world events. Pick smart boys, and whatever you do, don’t get pregnant. Smile more often. Love yourself.

I started stripping three weeks ago. Should I pay taxes?
Fuck yes. Don’t ever give the IRS a reason to look at you. Also, be a fucking grown-up. Treat your shit like a business. Track your expenses. Stage fees, outfits, hair, nails, tanning, all of it — write off everything.

how do you suck a dick?
With enthusiasm.

You are personally responsible for how much I love oral sex (both giving and receiving). Thank you. So much.
See what a little enthusiasm can do?

I feel I am experiencing an existential crises of sorts. Nihilism has worked it’s way into my thought processes and any conscious effort I make to counteract the inherent negativity gets me nowhere. Help.
Your shitty attitude is the problem, not nihilism. So what if life is meaningless? Quit being all butthurt about it and have some fun.

Does it matter who started it?
Nothing matters.

Does the size of a guy’s penis matter?

You contradict yourself so often in your writing. Its actually hilarious to read some of your articles and see what a self righteous cunt you are. That being said it is hard to stop reading your articles. Well done?
Thank you.

How the fuck do I get my family to stop calling Western people slutty whores? I’m 13 (young, yes, but very wise) and apparently, because I’m female and a “little kid”, I’m not allowed opinions.
Don’t bother changing your family, sweetheart. Just grow up to be a slutty whore with lots of opinions.


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