Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice

Have any good Mother’s Day gift ideas?
A Honey Cunt necklace from the Coquette Boutique. Duh.

Please eat a hamburger. Thank you.
I’m about to go double double animal style on your ass.

Why do you use tanning beds? Aren’t you afraid of getting skin cancer?
Don’t be such a pussy.

Is there a link that takes me to all the good music you post on Coke Talk?
Yes, here or here.

Is the one you love supposed to piss you off like no other creature on this planet?
It should be possible but not probable.

How do I fuck my professor?
On a curve.

You’re getting boring.
No, sweetheart. You’re getting bored. Big difference.

How can you tell if a guy likes you or if he just wants to fuck you?
Fuck him and then see if the phone rings.

I just finished college!!!
My condolences.

I noticed you are not from LA but it seems to me that you’ve successfully “made it” here. What was it like when you first moved here?
Exactly the fucking same. Completely fucking different. You’ll know what I mean in a decade.

Why did William AND Harry both have on spurs during the Royal Wedding?
Maybe they’re fans of Tim Duncan.

Me and my friends are throwing a party in 2 weeks.. What do you think our theme should be? Help us out!
Go big. Do a theme like “The Seventy-Two Virgins of Osama bin Laden” or something delightfully tacky like that.


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