Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice

Are you shipping your boutique stuff internationally? Us London girls want to rock that!
Yeah, I ship across the pond. I love you bitches, but you gotta start contacting me here with boutique questions.

You’re a sell-out.
You’re a child.

Would you consider yourself a modern-day Holly Golightly?
No. Don’t let Audrey Hepburn distract you. Capote’s character was a gold digging call girl.

My twenties are all about being confused? I thought my teens were all about being confused.
Life is about being confused. Each decade is merely about dealing with that confusion at increasing levels of responsibility.

How much bullshit is it worth putting up with for true love?
Please do not put the word true in front of love. Love is love, and you are not the Princess Bride.

What color is heaven?
What color is unicorn cum?

Favorite lip balm?
Kiehls Baby Lip Balm.

Why don’t you capitalize the g when you write “god”?

To me, god is a conceptual term, not a proper name like Jehovah or Allah or Zeus. It may not be the accepted capitalization, but I choose my words carefully for a reason.

How do I get over being rejected by colleges?
Your best bet is to react with maturity and poise by not taking it personally. Then again, you could always blame rich kids and Asians for your own mediocrity.

I’m all over your sites, and love the way you write. What snarky sites do you follow?
Not to sound like a snooty cunt, but I read books.


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