Fun-Sized Advice

On fun sized advice.

How do you keep your shit so together?
Are you kidding me? I’m so fucking hungover right now.

I’ve never seen you use emoticons. Do you ever do so?
Emoticons are for children and idiots. I’m perfectly capable of expressing my emotional state with actual words.

Eminem: whiny, angry white boy, or inspirational story?
Inspirational story for whiny, angry white boys.

Post more, woman.
Say please, bitch. I’m super busy over here, and you don’t get to make terse demands on my time unless you’re paying me.

How many bitchy complaints do you get about not answering peoples questions?
Quite a few, but that just means you love me.

Can I work for you?
Perhaps as an intern. Show me whatcha got.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve put in your pussy?
The seven inch barrel of a Smith & Wesson 357 Magnum. Yeah, that was a weird night. Don’t try this at home, kids.

LCD Soundsystem breaking up?

I caught their last show in LA, so I’m perfectly fine with it. Totally ready for James Murphy’s next project, whatever it may be.

May I use a tax deduction on an aborted child due to incurred expenses?
Medical expenses that exceed 7.5% of your adjusted gross income are tax deductible, and while a legal abortion does qualify, you’ll likely need a bunch of other medical expenses before you see any tax benefit.

How do you feel about men opening doors for women?

If you have nothing to prove, why do you talk so much shit?

It gives me pleasure.

Are you gonna answer this question?


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