On going your separate ways.

I’ve stopped taking relationship advice from my friends since they’ve all become cynics as of late. I’m in need of some sort of direction here.

My boyfriend and I have been together 20 months. After our graduation this spring, we will be taking two very different paths in our lives. I’m heading off to college and he is enlisting in the Air Force.

Although I have no doubt that I’ll be meeting all sorts of awesome guys in the near future, I can’t imagine that any of them will amount to anything close to what my boyfriend is for me. He’s one of the few people who can manage me when I go into super-cunt mode. He’s also one of the few people on this planet who can get me to swallow my pride when I’m being a stubborn bitch.

Our relationship, especially lately, has been great. I’m not a high maintenance girlfriend. I don’t make him buy me fancy dinners every week, take me on shopping sprees, call/text me every waking moment of the day, or any other bullshit like that. Everything runs smoothly as long as I’m provided with my necessities: love, sex, spending time together, and someone to listen to my ridiculous thoughts.

I feel young, stupid, and naive to hope that we could make a situation like this work out long-term. I mean, a long distance relationship is one thing, but a military relationship sure seems a whole lot messier. I’ve seen other military relationships go down in bitter flames.

So go ahead, tell me if I’m being stupid for hoping with every fiber in my being that this could somehow work out.

You’re not being stupid, just naive. That’s fine. You’re young and in love. That shit comes standard, and it’s easily forgivable.

The two of you have been together for a year and a half, by the way. The very fact that you measure it in months speaks volumes about your stage in life. This decision you’re about to make will mark your entrance into the world of adult relationships, but right now you’re both still kids.

It’s either going to be an easy decision with an ugly outcome, or it’s going to be an ugly decision with an easy outcome.

The easy decision is stay together, but that will inevitably lead to the ugly outcome of a long distance relationship between high-school sweethearts split between college and the military. That’s a fucking Pat Conroy novel waiting to happen. Today’s good intentions don’t mean shit, sweetie. At best, your relationship would die a slow death of starvation. At worst, incidents of infidelity would destroy your mutual respect. Either way, shit ends badly.

The ugly decision is to break up after graduation. It’ll suck. Your heart will break and you will miss him terribly that first semester at college. Still, if you say your goodbyes and split amicably, you’ll end the relationship on a high note. It’s hard to see now, but the easy outcome will be that you remember each other fondly in years to come. Trust me, life is long. It’s much better to have your first love as a friend ten years later.

Good luck with your decision. Either way, you’re gonna learn a lot about yourself.


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