One of my friends is a very pretty girl, but she has one fatal flaw—lady has a beard. Not just some peach fuzz, that’s one thing. She actually has a full on, blonde, lady beard. More than half my well-natured male friends could manage. How do I tell her, gently, that she would be absolutely perfect looking—minus the beard? I don’t just want to give her a can of shaving cream and a gilette razor.

Yeah, no. She’s well aware of her facial hair, and she knows better than to start shaving it, so unless you’ve got a couple grand laying around to pay for her electrolysis, I suggest you shut the fuck up.