On irony and cliche.

Reading your advice, it’s ironic that you would refer to others as cliches when you yourself fit the mould. Your assertiveness, feminine yet durable. Your unwillingness to waiver on your beliefs. I can see someone making a movie about you some day, sort of like a Julie and Julia, except you meet a boy, fall in love and find yourself incapable of following any of your own advice when you have problems with him. The ending however will be subject to your ability to man up and write the truth about everything you’ve ever said before bullshit, or carrying on living a lie. This will be your end. Love conquers all.

Let me get this straight. Durability is a contrast to femininity as it relates to my assertiveness? That’s kind of a mealy-mouthed way of calling women weak willed. You might want to reconsider such poetic usage of the word “yet.”

I’m not even going to take a swing at the fragmented remark about my unwavering beliefs, because it’s safe to assume you don’t have a fucking clue what you’re talking about.

As for my movie, I appreciate your story notes. Given the choice between complete moral bankruptcy or traditional monogamous couplehood, I’m sure my character (played by a perky Amy Adams) will base her decision on such fortune cookie favorites as “love conquers all.”

I can tell you have a real knack for three act structure, and you will no doubt enjoy a shining career as a development executive given your firm grasp on both irony and cliche.

Thanks for your consideration, and best of luck in your future endeavors.


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